A Broken Rule, a Tragedy, and Catch-up

Sorry I didn't get a chance to post last Thursday.  I went to work (the only day that week due to MLK Day, a snow day, and my telecommuting days), but I ended up sitting with a bus friend who wanted to chat the entire time.  Yes, I have broken my cardinal bus rule: no more bus friends after Jacqui, especially male bus friends.  The reason I became friends with Jacqui in the first place was because she was rescuing me from a male bus stalker who wanted to sit with me all the time.  She started sitting with me so that he couldn't and it saved me (the guy was actually mad at her and yelled at her for sitting with me all the time - he had serious problems).  When Jacqui stopped riding the bus I promised to stop making bus friends and I really promised to never make a male bus friend because they always turn out to be creepy.  All rules broken.  As hard as I tried not to, I made a new bus friend.  And he happens to be male.  He was just so friendly that I would have had to be down right rude to get rid of him and that's hard for me to do.  He seems happily married with two young girls so I am hoping that he never invites me for coffee or to stay the night in his "condo" or any other creepy gross things.  There are only so many different buses I can take to escape the weirdos.  But the point of this long tangent was to say that the bus was crowded that morning so I sat with him and then couldn't write my blog.

Saturday morning I headed out for a run.  Amazing, right?  Well, now that I have joined up with the TNT  group to do my long runs (not fundraising, just running with them), I feel more compelled to go.  It's a good thing too because it was like 13 degrees but felt like 5 due to the wind.  Yup, it was chilly.

That was my running outfit.  It kept me nice and warm (kind of, I was still a bit frozen).  The face mask was useful in keeping my mouth from freezing off, but it did get some condensation on it that froze.  I ended up doing 7.18 miles in one hour and five minutes, and that was including our water break stop.  That was pretty fast for me..I was tired but glad I kept up that pace and survived.  I admit I am a bit sore but I'll just have to push through.  Our half is coming up in like a month.  Yikes!

And on Sunday Evan and I decided to be brave and go back to church (the last time I went we got "the Look" because Evan hasn't figured out the difference between an indoor and an outdoor voice and so I stopped going - but I've decided I am going to try and ignore "the Looks" and persevere).  There had been a random shooting in our mall the day before and church was on my mind as a place to go and find peace (no matter how often you hear of gunman shooting at random people on the news, it feels very different when it happens in your own community).  This morning driving past the mall on the bus there were four or five reporters reporting early this morning and the mall is still an active crime scene.  I could also see police headquarters set up in the parking lot too.  Just very surreal.  Evan wasn't too bad at church and the nice woman in front of me specifically told me that it didn't bother her if Evan made a lot of noise.  I was thankful for this.  I am glad we went mass because the homily on the shooting was very good and I did feel better afterwards.  The thing that stuck with me the most was the priest made a comment about how it is much easier to buy guns and ammunition in this country than it is to get decent mental health care and that is sad.  And it really is very sad.  People are hurting in this country (mentally/emotionally/physically) and it's our responsibility to take care of them but we seem to be doing a really bad job of it.  And I wish I knew what was causing people so much pain and making them want to kill people and then themselves rather than getting help.  It's easy to be dismissive and say people are crazy - but that is not helping anyone.  As a society, we need to start figuring out why and what we can do about it because it it getting scary around here.  Ok, that's enough on that topic.

Onto something much happier: Evan!

And now I am gonna update you on some funny things Evan has done.  The other night he was eating dinner and put this bag over his head.

He ate his entire dinner like that.  He'd lift the bag up and I'd put some food in his mouth and then he'd put the bag back down over his head.  It was hilarious.  And surprisingly he ate more than he normally does - he actually finished all his dinner!  I'm debating whether I should put a bag over his head every night for dinner (don't worry, I made sure he was safe and wasn't suffocating himself and I don't let him put bags over his head without supervision).

And take a look at his new seat.

Ivan caught him sitting on Dolce and looking out the window.  It was so cute!  Then he started bouncing on Dolce and that was less cute.  Now he tries to climb on Dolce every time he can.  Less fun and way less cute.  Pretty much I have to separate the two of these creatures these days because I try not to let Evan bother Dolce too much.  You just never know when a dog is going to have enough and the last thing I want is Evan hurting Dolce and making him snap/bite him (this has never happened and the only time I've seen Dolce snap is at the vet when having stitches removed).  Plus, Dolce weighs about 65 pounds and Evan is about 18 pounds - so there is a big difference there.

Ok, I'm gonna banana split.  Hope you have a great Monday!

Bump Shot: 36 Weeks

I seem to have grown a LOT in the last few days.  My shirts are getting a tad bit too small.  It is hard to find something that covers the bump appropriately!  Luckily I don't have too much time left at work, so I only need outfits for three more weeks.  Then I can wear the same thing every day.  :-)

Here are some thoughts on Week 36:

* Still sleeping fine.  This is amazing to me.  I sometimes have to get up around 3am and use the bathroom, but that's about it.  I pretty much fall asleep ten seconds after crawling into bed and hardly wake up at all.  And when I do wake up (i.e. to switch sides or cuddle with hubs) I just fall back asleep again.  And this happened even when I wasn't pregnant, so I can't actually blame it on pregnancy.  My body is going to go into shock when I am awake all night with Maple Baby.

* I have been feeling nauseous every once in a while.  Not sure why, and not sure if it's pregnancy-related, but it's annoying.  It's especially annoying on the bus.  I hate feeling sick on the bus.

* I am tired all the time.  Ugh, this is the worst.  I have so much work to get done and prep to do before taking leave and this is not the time to want to crawl under my desk and take a nap.  I have been trying to beat the sleepiness by taking walks every day and standing up and shaking around (I think my across the alley - window mates thing I'm crazy).  It's not helping all that much.  It also hasn't helped that hubs and I have had things to do every night this week.  Makes for a tired evening too.

* I will never get tired of people being nice to me.  Yesterday while walking around the White House a stranger came up to me and said, "What a beautiful baby you're going to have!" and kept walking.  How nice!

* I will be happy when people stop giving me their opinions on everything.  The rude comments on my size have stopped, but people still constantly tell me that the baby's dropped or the baby hasn't dropped or the baby's big or my belly's pointed, and numerous other things.  Of course one person says one thing and then two seconds later someone else says the exact opposite.  I just politely agree with everyone.  And then people keep asking, "How do you feel?" in a way that makes me think they are waiting for me to feel horrible.  I always say I feel great - even if I feel horrible - just because I don't want to give them the satisfaction of thinking that I feel horrible.  I know they are probably just trying to be nice and I'm SURE I did the exact same thing to other pregnant people, but now I know to not do it!  Or maybe I am just extra sensitive.  I did read a story about a man floating his arthritic dog and shed a few tears.  It's possible my hormones are out of whack.

* On Tuesday hubs and I met with our Doula(s).  We actually have two.  They were both really nice.  I'm still a bit apprehensive about having extra people in the room while I'm giving birth and writhing around in pain, but if they can make the experience a bit easier than I guess it's worth it.  And people say that modesty goes out the door during labor - so hopefully that's true.  I wasn't going to have a Doula except that the birthing center recommended it.  Johns Hopkins School of Nursing has a community doula program for metro DC/Baltimore so we don't have to pay anything.  We never could have afforded $300, which is the going doula rate in the area.

* The baby room and hospital bag still haven't been accomplished!  I tried hard to get it done and did buy a few items to put in the bag.  And I washed a bunch of our diapers.  So that was progress, right?  Oh, and I put our baby clothes in the dresser.  I think that was about it.  This weekend I'm gonna make some more progress.

I am still in a bit of disbelief that I am so far along.  I just have to make it to 37 weeks and I can give birth in the birthing center.  And then I have to make sure the baby comes out before the 42nd week!  I can't wait to meet the little guy!

Why I'm hoping to have an unmedicated birth

I don't have any pictures today, so I figured I'd post about something that doesn't require pictures: my birth plan.  Ok, so I'm not so organized that I have a real birth plan yet, but I have a birth idea.

As long as Maple Baby and I remain healthy and he doesn't decided to come too early or too late, I am planning on a birth center birth.  What does this mean exactly?  Well, a birth center is run by midwives and does limited interventions (no pitocin, no epidural, low episiotomy rates, no C-sections, etc.).  Obviously if there is a problem, like I end up needing a C-section, I can easily and quickly be transported to a hospital.  In my case there is an ambulance two doors down and the hospital is 7 minutes away - so very easily accessible.

I decided I wanted a birth center birth years ago, way before I was pregnant.  It was actually when my sister was pregnant.  I bought her Our Bodies, Ourselves: Pregnancy and Birth by The Boston Women's Health Collective and ended up reading the entire thing. 

It had a section on birth centers and the benefits and things like that so I did a little research and found a birth center near me that looked really nice.  I decided then that if I were ever to have children I'd like to birth in a birthing center as opposed to a hospital. 

My sister's births solidified that idea.  Not that my sister had horrible births, she was quite happy with them and both her children were healthy.  I was just disappointed with how she was treated while at the hospital and the interventions they used.  Nurses would just walk in and out of her room and look at all the machine print-outs, etc.  They never really explained much to her and when asked a question they would give a really quick, simple answer.  I, a person who likes an abundance of knowledge, wanted more information.  And I felt like my sister deserved more attention and care than she was given.  This is just my opinion because my sister didn't feel like that at all.  We are just very different, which is completely fine.  I support my sister's decisions to have her children at the hospital 100% - I think people should give birth wherever and however they are most comfortable.

I knew that for me, being able to birth in a bedroom setting, with different birthing positions and less hospital-like style would work best.  I wanted to be able to move around freely, hop in a bath for a few hours, listen to music, and things of that nature.  Most of the time you can't do that in the hospital (although you can in some).  And to me, hospitals are a place for sick people - and a healthy pregnancy isn't a sickness.  Obviously, many health conditions can lead to the necessity of a

This is one of the birthing rooms -
looks much more like a B&B than a hospital!

As for the un-medicated part, I have always just wanted an un-medicated birth (and I'm secretly terrified of the epidural needle).  Not really for any reason in particular.  I have read lots of information on babies being born drugged from an epidural, mom's feeling drugged, bad epidural stories, etc., but I did not base my decision on that at all.  I think that there are good reasons to have an epidural and women should not be judged because they choose one. Plenty of healthy babies are born to mom's who have an epidural.

Really, I think I choose an un-medicated birth because my mom had un-medicated births.  When my mom talks about giving birth to me and my older sister she never talked about being in huge amounts of pain or laboring for hours and hours.  She had really easy births with us (or so she says) and we both just "popped" out - no medication, no screaming in labor, nothing really scary at all.  And I think that that is what resonated with me.  The idea that birth wasn't necessarily as scary as they portrayed it on TV or in the movies - that it could really be something quite natural and pleasant.  I think growing up not having this huge fear of childbirth or thinking it was the worst pain in the entire world had a profound effect on the way I wanted to deliver my children.  If I had grown up with stories of fear and pain and torture, I might be terrified to give birth without any type of pain medication.  I guess we'll never know though.

So, that's my plan.  I definitely don't think it's the plan for everyone.  People have different reasons for choosing to birth the way they do, and those reasons should be respected.  I don't think there is a right or wrong answer to birthing a baby.  I do think that women aren't informed enough about their choices (I had to do all my research on my own and read a bunch of books, etc. - it's not something I ever learned in school or heard from a doctor) and about childbirth in general.  Most people take a class that just goes over hospital policies and then shows a video with a naked women screaming and giving birth and that's it.  I don't think that that is quite enough information for anyone.  However, I do work in the health field and I am very interested in making good health choices for myself and researching medications and treatment plans rather than just taking a doctor or nurses word for it (or pop culture, mainstream media, or friends).  So, that is how I approached birth.

Now I just have to see whether Maple Baby will cooperate.  If I go into labor before 37 weeks or after 42 weeks then I won't have too much of a choice - I'll have to go to the hospital.  I am pretty flexible though - my main goal to have a healthy baby and you won't see me fighting tooth and nail to make sure I have the baby the way I want to have him.  I am ultimately at the mercy of him and when he decides to make an appearance and how (he could be breached, etc.).

I do realize that a lot of people have really strong opinions on these topics - and some people feel it is their right and duty to let me know.  Many people say that I will be begging for an epidural or that it isn't safe to give birth outside of a hospital, etc.  However, people really seem to be forming a lot of opinions on pregnancy, birth, and childrearing these days and there is no way to please everyone.  Breastfeeding vs. bottle feeding, caffeine or no caffeine during pregnancy, exercise during pregnancy, attachment parenting vs. whatever the opposite is called, vaccines vs. no vaccines, etc.  There are so many different philosophies and there is no best answer for every parent and his or her child. 

I am just doing what I feel is best for me and my baby - and I'm trying to to read too many "Mommy Wars" articles - especially the comments section!

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What are your thoughts on childbirth?

Did you have an un-medicated birth?

Did your mom ever talk about your birth story?