Exactly Where I’m Suppose to be

This post is a little serious so I’m gonna post so adorable photos of Evan and Dolce to lighten it up….

^^Does he have enough bones within his reach?

Last week at church during the homily the priest talked about being satisfied with where you are in life.  I don’t usually talk much about religion on the blog because not everyone is religious and not everyone believes what I believe – but I’m gonna break a bit from tradition and talk about this homily.  It’s amazing that I can remember the homily because one of my biggest challenges is paying attention during the homily and readings.  I’m not sure what it is – maybe I don’t learn so well when people are talking or it’s hard for me to pay attention unless what they are saying resonates with me.  Or maybe I have some kind of strange mental block when it comes to paying attention at church.  Usually what happens is a word triggers some thought and then the next thing I know the reading or homily is done and I have no idea what was said.  I have been working on this flaw for years but to no avail.

^^This is a horrible photo but since I don’t have many photos of Evan and me, it will have to do.

However, last week the homily resonated with me so I remembered it.  It centered around The Prodigal Son.  It’s not important to know the story, but just in case you really want to read it, you can click the link.  Anyway, the priest related that story to us.  He said that sometimes we get sad/upset/jealous/mad/frustrated/etc. when something we think we deserved doesn’t happen (or something happens to someone we think doesn’t deserve it).  For example, you worked really hard and your boss gave your colleague a raise instead of you.  Or you go to a job interview that you think is perfect for you and you don’t get the job.  The priest’s main message was not to worry about it, that you are exactly where you are suppose to be (according to God or some higher being).  That if you were meant to get that raise than you would have gotten it.  I don’t really like to leave things to “fate” and say that everything is planned.  I think we have a say in our decisions and the outcome of our lives (my husband believe the exact opposite and doesn’t plan for anything without saying “If God wills it…” – that is for another conversation), but sometimes I feel like small aspects of my life have a little extra guidance or something.  It’s hard to explain.

^^This is my husband’s cousin – only in Honduras do they put babies in hammocks!

However, for some reason that homily gave me a little relief or peace of mind.  Sometimes I get caught up in entitlement – like I am entitled to a raise or a promotion or a winning lottery ticket.  Really I’m not though.  And maybe if I don’t get that raise or job or whatever, it’s because it wasn’t the right time or place.  And I should just relax about it.  I shouldn’t spend my time and energy being bitter because things didn’t go the way I thought they should or the way I felt like I deserved.  I should work on being happy with what I’ve got and keep faith that things will work out for the best.  That as long as I work as hard as I can and I am honest and keep my integrity – that life will work itself out.  This is a hard philosophy to have, but I am trying my best to stick to it. 

These days with the sequester really making me nervous and my friends who work for the federal government getting their salaries cut by 20% – it is hard not to worry (20% is A LOT – my salary got cut 2% this year with the Social Security increase and it was hard to recover from that…20% would be devastating).  Yes, my job is secure for now.  However, my grant is up for reapplication in April and my current funds run out 1 October.  There is a chance that my project will be cut or the budget decreased significantly.  It is not a big budget to begin with – there is not a lot of cutting room.  It’s scary thinking about what might happen – I kind of need my job to pay the bills and support my family.

^^That’s me as a three-week old baby – don’t I look a little like Evan?

So, thinking that I am where I am suppose to be, doing what I am suppose to be doing is a little comforting.  And it helps me to not worry incessantly about something I can’t do anything about.  It would help if Congress people would realize how they are affecting people’s lives and how so many people count of the federal government for income and sustainability…but I can’t do much about that except call my Congress people – which I do.

So I am going to try and relax and enjoy the present – without worrying too much about the future.  And maybe working extra hard so that the government thinks my grant is too important to cut….

 

What do you worry about on a daily basis?

Do you feel like you are exactly where you are suppose to be?

Do you have a problem paying attention in church?

 

P.S. I was not overlooked for a raise or promotion or something of that nature – it just worked best for the example.