Yes, it's the dreaded finances conversation. Hubs and I CANNOT, for the life of us, find a good way to deal with our finances. I'm still unsure what will work out best, but people LOVE to give me their two sense about their strategy and then insult me by telling me that our current financial situation screams DISASTER. I don't really appreciate that - I don't think that hubs and I are doomed for life because we haven't found a financial strategy that works well for us. I think it's just gonna take some time, but no need to tell me we're heading straight for divorce. Or that our strategy is normal for non-married people, but as married people we need something different. I think different strategies work best for different types of people - we just haven't figured out our best one yet.
Currently we have two separate accounts. I have a savings and checking and hubs has a savings. We use all my money to pay for normal bills (rent, gas, car, loans, etc.) and then put all his money in his savings account. However, I tend to be completely broke at the end of the pay period and he's floating in the dough.
This situation would work great if all we wanted was to save and save and save. However, pretty soon we'll use all his money to buy tickets to Honduras. Not really the end of the world, since we've been planning this trip for a while. I think our biggest argument is around sending money to his relatives in Honduras. It's a big cultural issue - in the US people don't really send money to family members. If I'm broke and need a tooth fixed, I wouldn't ever ask my parents or sisters to send me cash to fix my tooth. I'd most likely charge it or wait. However, in Honduras, people who have moved to the US work as hard as they can and then send as much money back home as possible. So, this is where our cultures clash. I'd prefer we save our money for future endeavors (like an apartment, kids one day, a trip to Germany, safety net, etc.) and he'd rather send his money home.
It all comes back to our view on life - I see the future, he sees the present. I work for a better future, he works for today and only today. One day we'll meld our views together, but for now, I think we need to hire a financial planner!!!
your financial situation is not doomed! don't listen to people who are just trying to make themselves seem superior. every situation is different, and you guys will totally find a way to manage your finances in a way that makes sense to you. it's a hugely personal thing.
ReplyDeletei know that my own financial situation with my partner seems pretty bleak at the moment, but i know what we have to do to turn it around. when we're ready, we will do just that. but it can take time to figure out what you need to do to reach your goals.
ultimately, even if it seems you have different approaches to finances and some different goals, your main goals are the same - be happy and comfortable together! since you agree on that, i see no reason why you won't be able to work out a plan :)